Let it be known that I’ve tried 3 different times over the past 2 years to have my journal deleted. 2 times it was Kevin (the website owner) that turned me down and a previous time I was convinced to have it locked instead. It should have been clear to everyone involved that it was only a matter of time until I would get what I wanted. The journal was a mess and I didn’t recognize myself in it, especially at first since I pretended to be a friendly guy which I am not quite so in reality. It was created out of ego (I wanted to be the first to be known for short wheelbasing a GD Subaru) and frankly it was a mistake to start with. I also like to be in control of what I do and what I possess but IWSTI just didn’t give that to me. Hence why I started my own website in 2014. Here, I am in control of my own little world and I am very much happier that way. My journal on IWSTI was a blight I felt obliged to continue only for Wabi~Sabi’s story’s sake to which I could not find a satisfying way to end it proper on the forum.
Before I get ire from some people, remember that my story is my own to write and do what I want with it. I owe nothing to IWSTI or to the Subaru “community”. In fact, it’s something I’ve never wanted to be a part with to be honest. Especially since I was blatantly threatened of physical harm and vandalism by the local group. I do my own stuff in my own little world. That’s it. It’s who I am and who I will always be. You may not agree nor like it but that’s beyond the point. It’s not because 99% of people like chocolate that the 1% who don’t are not normal, if you catch my drift.
Hence, a while ago I sent a PM to a moderator “buddy” and I started editing my journal posts to nil just to be sure there would be no going back this time. It was very fair on my part to assume that I needed to do something extra to make sure that an ultimate attempt at having it deleted would work. It took me 3 hours to edit out my 600-ish journal posts. In the end, I had to do it for myself as a symbolic gesture of closure. Sadly, the moderator didn’t take kindly to me doing this and misunderstood the gesture as an attack on his character. I then really stressed on the fact that he shouldn’t care about some online jackass named “RecceRS” or “Jay”. Life is too short to dwell on negativity, especially if brought by an online name on a screen. People we know in person should have priority of our love and attention. To the others, no fucks should be given. In the end, he honored my request and I cannot thank him enough for it. Postremo pacem. Peace, at last.
That being said, my old IWSTI subscribers are welcomed to continue to follow my project(s) on my website when you have time to kill. I cannot change the fact that you are here now and I don’t really mind. The past is the past and I want to look forward. However, just remember that what I write should really be inconsequential to you folks, including any life problems I might write about. I actually write for myself and laugh at my own jokes. It’s my form of entertainment when I’m bored. I can also honestly say that even if you do continue to read my stuff that I won’t be returning the favor. It’s a courtesy I can no longer afford.
The Gruppe B conversion will also be my final car project. I always said to myself that there was plenty of time ahead to start saving for my old days and I often dismissed it entirely by thinking I will never reach retirement age. However, this is now different with my fiancée. She deserves better than to be left alone with worthless cars that she won’t get a decent buck out of. She needs a nest egg if I pass and I won’t ever be able to provide it if I keep doing what I do. Every last cent I can spare is currently sunk into my projects. That will stop after the Gruppe B. I promised her this and I have never broken one to her yet. Maintenance and small improvements shall be the only stuff I’ll do afterwards. I have also removed temptation by eliminating my alerts in car classifieds and by stopping to peruse stuff I can’t afford. It’s a bit sad since I love doing what I do but I also must do what I must. I’ll be happy in the end though, I’m quite sure of it!